As my daughter Laura celebrates her 30th Birthday and Emerson and Laura their 5th Wedding Anniversary, I wish them happiness, peace and love forever!
I Just Want
to Hold Your Hand One More Time
You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13
It was the
night before David and I were returning to Seabrook Island SC for a long weekend
and I had retired to bed with a spring storm stirring in the area ---- the
lightning was eerie and bright and the thunder booming every split second. A soft knock came on my door and a
sweet but scared voice that I had heard so many times spoke: “Mom can I come in
and lay in bed with you?” Laura
never liked storms and so many times in her twenty- five years, she would end
up in my room to ride the storm out and this night was no exception. Laura and I lay there and I held her
hand reassuring her that this storm will quickly pass, we didn’t say much to
each other as our hands and hearts did all the talking. As I lay there I began thinking about
all the times I had held her hand, beginning in the hospital, holding micro
tiny premature hands with tiny spaghetti like fingers that barely wrapped
around my little finger. I thought about all the other storms and joys of her
life: struggling with her academics in high school but making dean’s list at
Purdue, not making volleyball team but making the tennis team, disagreements
with friends but making new friends while at Purdue and of course the broken
romances that brought so many tears.
I also reflected on the long nights when she was diagnosed with kidney
cancer and the recovery after surgery how she clung to my hand for strength and
support. Little did she realize she
was the very one I was clinging to for my strength and support.
As a mother
God gave me the most special gift of all--- giving birth to a child that I
loved, protected and gave her the gift of development and maturity. I had to trust that God formed her very
being from the beginning. He knows her path and will guide and direct her
through out her adult life. It was
and (is) my job and responsibility to be obedient to God in unfolding this
special human being her not only holding her hand but also her heart too.
As the
storm quickly passed, Laura let go of my hand and as she did, it occurred to me
that I may never have to hold her hand again through a thunderstorm because in
a short while she will be married and Emerson will be the one to hold her hand
through the all the storms of her life.
As a tiny teardrop formed in my eye, and I lay there absorbing this
moment--- I realized that my very hope is that Emerson will not only hold her
hand but also her heart forever. TOTT
May 14,
2009
May God bless you and keep you safe. May the ocean of life always be calm and may you always believe in miracles even the small one. Amen